Christmas Time (A.K.A. Time of Financial Distress)
It is that time of year again. The time where you can think to yourself, "ah, I must relax, take a breather, celebrate the coming of The Christ that has at least attempted to cleanse the race of humanity, and without whom, the one True God would have smote us down full wroth." Or maybe a more secular version of the same, like "ah, here comes Santa Claus!" Nevertheless, this sigh, ephemeral and sweet, is not without a following, and the blessed following of Financial-Distress soon beckons after.
This is the time of year where you realize that you are in your last year at University at the undergraduate level, and now is the time for application fees (yay). Now is the time where rent will follow shortly after the account has been drained by said application fees, as well as shipping and the accumulated bills which have become forgotten until LO! And behold! There they are, waiting for you anxiously, wrapped up in their neat, little envelope.
Yet, the season is not without its joys. This is the time of year for recuperation, for a chance to convalesce without any fears of tests looming soon overhead. The nearest test (at least for this student) comes at least a few months in the distance, when the student loan promised me by the wonderful folks at the NB government is received and finances are (at least temporarily) half-decent. It is the time to further the power of love and connection one feels to significant other, family member, and friend. A chance to give and to receive (one without the other is akin to selfishness or self-sacrifice, by themselves not necessarily evil, but not reciprocated, can be a small degeneration).
Now is the time for turkey meals, family get-togethers, or first solitary Christmas feasts (one should be proud to create by one's self). Now is the time for bittersweet recollections of all those who could not make it to the feast, whether for reasons of practicality or vitality (that is, blessed bliss be to those whose life could not hold until this joyous occasion). It is the time where people attempt-- no matter how pathetic-- to become tolerant, and calls of "happy Hanukkah!" are heard alongside "merry Christmas" and the occasional "merry... whatever!" No matter how ineffective, it is the time where the majority (for once) attempt unity and compassion.
Yet, I have the same pet peeves with this religious holiday as I do with Valentines day: why do people need an excuse to be nice to one another (or romantic, in the case of Valentines day)? Regardless, I guess the ends justify the means (trickery), because the compassion-levels surrounding me are somewhat lifted of their usual blackness and ineffectiveness. My jaded nature finds less meat to attack and devour, cynicism becomes less warranted (at least for a temporary stretch), and all appears to be well. For the time being.
Round and round the circle we go, where we'll stop, nobody knows!
My resolves, however, have not changed. This holiday is a sign of appreciation for my loved ones, a sign of thankfulness for those who came before (and thus a celebration of the dead who are eternal and powerful), and also a chance to atone for any sins. We reserve one day a year for all these things, one day a year for the specific thankfulness towards Christ, a joyous celebration of our existence and our cleansing (however incomplete). Although this reservation is not without its merits (perhaps some people truly need a chance to slow down in order to make the sufficient supplications), I still resolve to fight inhumanities coldly and callously; I still vow to treat those who destroy (either themselves or others) with scorn and derision for their destructive tendencies, but with compassion for their shared humanity. I still vow to attempt to solve the "big" problems plaguing the world through little steps and gestures (accumulation... makes it happen!). In other words, I still make the gestures I have begun, and will not cease. My resolve is focused to a pinprick singularity: freedom, not only for myself, but for all those to whom I can deliver that blessed gift. Freedom of expression without violence (violation of another's freedom)... freedom of anger without hatred (control); freedom to celebrate without offending (diplomacy).
Lofty goals, but every year it comes full circle and I am left with but one thought: If not tomorrow, then the next day.
This is the time of year where you realize that you are in your last year at University at the undergraduate level, and now is the time for application fees (yay). Now is the time where rent will follow shortly after the account has been drained by said application fees, as well as shipping and the accumulated bills which have become forgotten until LO! And behold! There they are, waiting for you anxiously, wrapped up in their neat, little envelope.
Yet, the season is not without its joys. This is the time of year for recuperation, for a chance to convalesce without any fears of tests looming soon overhead. The nearest test (at least for this student) comes at least a few months in the distance, when the student loan promised me by the wonderful folks at the NB government is received and finances are (at least temporarily) half-decent. It is the time to further the power of love and connection one feels to significant other, family member, and friend. A chance to give and to receive (one without the other is akin to selfishness or self-sacrifice, by themselves not necessarily evil, but not reciprocated, can be a small degeneration).
Now is the time for turkey meals, family get-togethers, or first solitary Christmas feasts (one should be proud to create by one's self). Now is the time for bittersweet recollections of all those who could not make it to the feast, whether for reasons of practicality or vitality (that is, blessed bliss be to those whose life could not hold until this joyous occasion). It is the time where people attempt-- no matter how pathetic-- to become tolerant, and calls of "happy Hanukkah!" are heard alongside "merry Christmas" and the occasional "merry... whatever!" No matter how ineffective, it is the time where the majority (for once) attempt unity and compassion.
Yet, I have the same pet peeves with this religious holiday as I do with Valentines day: why do people need an excuse to be nice to one another (or romantic, in the case of Valentines day)? Regardless, I guess the ends justify the means (trickery), because the compassion-levels surrounding me are somewhat lifted of their usual blackness and ineffectiveness. My jaded nature finds less meat to attack and devour, cynicism becomes less warranted (at least for a temporary stretch), and all appears to be well. For the time being.
Round and round the circle we go, where we'll stop, nobody knows!
My resolves, however, have not changed. This holiday is a sign of appreciation for my loved ones, a sign of thankfulness for those who came before (and thus a celebration of the dead who are eternal and powerful), and also a chance to atone for any sins. We reserve one day a year for all these things, one day a year for the specific thankfulness towards Christ, a joyous celebration of our existence and our cleansing (however incomplete). Although this reservation is not without its merits (perhaps some people truly need a chance to slow down in order to make the sufficient supplications), I still resolve to fight inhumanities coldly and callously; I still vow to treat those who destroy (either themselves or others) with scorn and derision for their destructive tendencies, but with compassion for their shared humanity. I still vow to attempt to solve the "big" problems plaguing the world through little steps and gestures (accumulation... makes it happen!). In other words, I still make the gestures I have begun, and will not cease. My resolve is focused to a pinprick singularity: freedom, not only for myself, but for all those to whom I can deliver that blessed gift. Freedom of expression without violence (violation of another's freedom)... freedom of anger without hatred (control); freedom to celebrate without offending (diplomacy).
Lofty goals, but every year it comes full circle and I am left with but one thought: If not tomorrow, then the next day.
posted by Shannon | 8:05 AM
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