Well frig...

Although I have not posted on this blog in awhile, I feel the need to express a few general thoughts. Call these thoughts existential angst, too much time on my hands, or what have you, but when I feel the need to write, I rarely deny myself the chance.

I feel a lot of my depression coming back. I decided to go off my pills for awhile to see what happens when it comes back, which may have been a bad decision. Then again, I'm self-medicated on pills that probably aren't half as medicated as I actually require, so its hard to say whether they truly make a difference or not.

The truth of it is, I like the stuff that comes out of me when I'm... well, to put it bluntly, completely and utterly self-destructive. I'm not sure why, I just find that my metaphoric palette is a lot more complex and sophisticated when I struggle to go through each day.

I am reminded of an X-Files episode in which Mulder reflects to Scully that he wishes he had a peg-leg. His reason: a person with a disability goes through life as a hero overcoming his or her obstacles; but without a disability, it is not enough just to exist, not enough merely to stand.

Nietzsche, of course, would have disagreed with this comment-- he felt it most respectable and most difficult to prove to the world that one could make a stand. But regardless of his semantics, I cannot help but agree more fully with my dear friend, Fox.

I suppose this is why I am in love with the concept of monsters and demons. The thought that there is something that wants to drag me down is incentive enough to rise up to the occasion. Without this demonic influence, I wake up wondering what is the point of even trying, of existing.

Perhaps I just think too much....

Masters: Reality versus Fantasy

I had a riveting discussion with some coworkers about the significance of detail in literature. Alright, they would not have worded it that way, but that is what happened. Honest.

At any rate, what happened was that a coworker overheard me talking about Dostoevsky and Dickens. And so she admitted that she did not have a taste for Dickens for the same reason she hated Stephen King... she felt there was too much description and not enough "open" for the imagination.

One of the most common misconceptions is that a writer wants the reader to create a new world from scratch. That would defeat the purpose of a writer-- the reader would be creating a world for his or her self, what need would there be for a storyteller!? Rather, the writer wants you to actively engage in the world that is being created.

There are varying levels of detail, and these I usually define as the difference between the realists and the surrealists (i.e., fantasy). The surrealists do not care about plot detail; in fact, often in more drastic surrealism, the details of the 'world' are either contradictory or simply do not make sense. Samuel Beckett was a prime example of this, in which his worlds were randomized, not necessarily created but stumbled upon. Beckett's point was not to have a reader that was confused-- though he most certainly succeeded on that end. Rather, his point was to have his audience examine HOW he treated his plot rather than WHAT elements constructed it.

On the opposite end, you have writers like Charles Dickens and, to use a modern example, Stephen King. These writers truly want to create a world from the largest and grandest creatures ('creatures' mostly applying to King) to the smallest, microscopic detail. This is why both writers go through painstaking detail in order to paint on their particular canvas. You close your eyes, you can see the world. The point is not that the reader is actively creating for themselves (the creator is the storyteller) but that the reader is living in the world.

Everyone wants to think they can write better than the storytellers. But the truth of the matter is, even if you dislike a storyteller, if they are popular it is because they are good at a technique you yourself do not appreciate. In the case of my coworker, she does not appreciate having everything spelled out for her. However, that does not mean that the worlds of King and Dickens are not rich, vibrant worlds that can be lived in-- that is exactly what they are, and what their creators wanted them to be.

It all boils down to the experience the writer is trying to convey. Does the writer want to convey a particular emotion? Chances are, in those cases, plot details will be slim. Does the writer want to create a new world, like J. R. R. Tolkien's Middle-Earth or Stephen King's Dark Tower worlds? Then chances are, the writer will pay attention to all the flora and fauna, the bricks and mortar, that populate that world.

Storytelling Masters: General Observations

This is the first post in what I hope to be a regular series. Considering my background in academia, I am prone to examine closely the quirks and mannerisms that make some of the storytellers wildly accepted as 'masters' the professionals they are. One of the things I noticed, upon my journey through many a page, is that two basic rules apply to any great writer: they either help the reader understand their own self, or help the reader understand the world in which they live. The first is transcendental-- there will always be the need to be introspective to truly understand the self. In Attic Greece, the slogan was "know thyself and nothing in excess", and though we have institutions like psychiatry/psychology, and though we live in different times, the need for these two remains (that is, the fact that as humans we do NOT know ourselves and ARE prone to excess still remain).

In terms of the world in which we live, this is a more touchy subject in terms of relevancy. Some people honestly cannot connect with worlds different than theirs-- these are the type of readers who stick to nonfiction on current issues. While this perspective is limiting-- the reader is essentially limiting themselves by refusing to engage in how a work of fiction actually DOES talk about worldly issues, no work is 100% fiction-- it is nevertheless a growing trend. Less and less people are 'reading' though literacy remains relatively normal. How can this be? Well, because people are reading nonfiction. The news is being more highly read, leading to more global consciousness, magazines are being read, true stories etc. These stories are significant and important, but as a fantasy writer myself, I cannot help but think that the true wishes of humanity are revealed the most when we close our eyes... but that's just me, and I do not belittle anyone who goes under the category of a non-reading reader.

Back to the point: the reason people engage in non-fiction is because there still is room for a master storyteller within this genre. Because, as I stated before, the best stories are those that tell us more about ourselves (our subconscious, affected by our environment) and those that tell us more about the world around us (hence non-fiction's appeal).

The 'bad' writers are those that do not tell the audience anything they need to know, either about the world they live in or themselves. For instance, watching Sin City (as a story), you know nothing about yourself-- the characters are too shallow to gain any perspective-- and you learn nothing about the world around you-- for the laws of Sin City, not only legal but physical, are too inconsistent to learn ANYTHING. This is why I categorize Sin City as a bad story, and this is the reason some people could not watch the film for its inadequacies (I actually know of a few people who could not watch the film, got fed up with its uselessness, and just walked out).

Is there room to argue that Sin City was a good story? Sure. You probably won't convince me, but the definition of 'bad story' is not my point. George Orwell said it best with one of his most memorable characters, Winston from 1984: The best books are those that tell you what you already know. People who are lonely want to believe that they are not alone... they, in essence, know they are not alone, but when they connect to a good story, they UNDERSTAND that they fear being alone, and in the connection, feels that they are not the only one fearing being alone (if that makes any logistic sense).

I hope to look at writers, and see how they attain this tenuous relationship with the audience. There are a few 'classics' I tend to look at, writers such as Dostoevsky, Coetzee, people like that, but I also hope to look at 'pop' writers, such as Thomas Stewart (for business), Stephen King and Neil Gaiman (for fiction), and the such.

The reason I'm sharing this? Because I think it is integral to know what succeeds in the world of storytelling to truly understand your fellow human being.

And so we plow on

This is the point in the new year in which the rosy colored outlook begins to fade, the snow in city streets turns to a thick black crud (at least in parts that have snow...) and everyone is left with the knowledge that new years resolutions are more difficult to attend to than previously anticipated.

In short, it is the slump that everyone must get over. I myself have been relatively busy trying to reconcile my emotions in a long distance relationship; the tricky thing about long distance relationships is that usually one person is better at it than the other. One person coasts along in their life, oblivious to the change while the other spends their nights crying. And if said crying person should mention it to the well-adjusted Other, well, as you can imagine, there will be a lot of understandable "that's not my problem" type language. Understandable, unavoidable, and all the while, not very helpful. And yet, if the two truly love each other, they plow through, sometimes in a roller-coaster of ups and downs set off by the other (just as the cryer turns into the well-adjusted, the well-adjusted is convinced to become the cryer, and the cycle continues).

From this post, you might think that only a fool would willingly enter into a long-distance relationship. Especially knowing that a great deal of significant others cheat, using the long distance as a veil to hide their infidelity. You don't have to lack trust in your significant other for that to be uncomfortable. In fact, you can fully trust your Other, but still, knowing that never helps... and believe me, there is no hiding from that.

So why do people enter into long distance relationships? Well, I don't think love is a choice. Cheating certainly is, and so are many other negatives, but love itself can never really be decided upon or ignored. The cryer must be content with his tears, knowing that they are for his distant love; and the well-adjusted just has to be patient with the cryer.

So why the diatribe? Well, for starters, its a way for me to increase content, which has been admittedly slow on the blog. Secondly, I have made two things my New Year's Resolution (besides obviously surviving until 'long-distance' changes to 'close-quarters'): 1) to be more disciplined in my craft, which inevitably means more writing. It also means more personal writing, writing that is important to me. I guess you can take it or leave it, I guess. And 2) I hope to become more organized, which I hope includes a weekly blog-entry. I want every hour of my life to be planned, not so I can stick to a stiff schedule, but so I can be prepared for life's little surprises.

Am I overwhelmed with the implications of these two resolutions, especially after the admittedly difficult long-distance relationship? Yes. Especially knowing that I have to abide by the resolutions while adjusting to living in a new space, learning a new job, and being completely on my own for the first time. Ironically, my significant other has the adjustment of being surrounded in her dorm, a first for her as well... still though, I'd be lying if I didn't say I was not a bit jealous, nervous, apprehensive, jittery about the distance between her and I. Anything can happen, or so I'm told constantly. I cannot control her environment, and while that doesn't sound like a big deal, her environment has always been my environment, and human beings need a controlled environment to thrive. I am trying desperately to keep myself included in her life, which means included in her environment. But its hard to feel included when you have no ability to manipulate, change, or even leave a mark in the environment, for better or worse. Its a sad, lonely, scary world out there, but not without its rewards. Like the feeling of knowing that my honesty and integrity remains intact, that while she cannot see me, she still knows everything about me... that feeling is only possible with a clean conscience.

Am I airing out my dirty laundry, much to the chagrin of readers? Probably. But as you can also probably tell by language, I am telling a story that needs to be told, the story of a lonely writer waiting for his love to return home from a med-school on a tiny island, an island filled with good students, bad students, loyal significant others, cheaters, lizards, goats... and one lady who is very important to me.

Barf if you will. It had to come out. In terms of my purpose, part of it is catharsis. Another part is because I have noticed a decided slant in my writing, a keen eye on the emotional core of things. I am interested in emotion and reason, the links between them, how they relate to the human existence. I notice this as I toy with the emotions of my characters, playing their heart-strings like a harp, toying with them not out of any malevolence (though I can be quite cruel to them) but with a desire to see what these creations of mine can do, how they can sing their pain... I'm reminded of one of my favourite lyrics: "Can I give you my pain/ to feel? To be aged in a life by conscience" (Mudvayne, Lost and Found: Choices).

A New Year

Another year! As I've been preparing a business plan for the MonsterIntern ebookstore, I have been rather busy. I've been doing a lot of research on the ebook format, including open ebook standards, sales expectations, etc. I am becoming more and more convinced that this will be a very hot market, and that the time is ripe for my work to gather the audience it deserves.

With a new year comes downfalls. My significant other is currently on the small island of Saba, or at least, on her way. Once there, she will be pursuing her dream, which is the motivation for me to pursue mine.

Hopefully it will give me enough to see her soon... but we shall see.

At any rate, I wish all of you readers a happy new year, and may this year be better than the last, with less sorrow, and more cheer.

Happy New Year!

The Metaphor and the Dragon

I have been reading a lot about literature lately, and am constantly discovering new facets of it. The art of storytelling is an interesting and subtle art, one whose composition (as opposed to mere superficial study) I have not been as well versed in as I would like.

Sure, I understand the use of metaphors, imagery, symbolism, dichotomy, syllogism, and the such, but I never thought of each of these forms except AS forms. That is, for instance, I never thought of how the metaphor, as Northrop Frye points out, is one of few language tools in which two things are used to describe each other without modifying either. To say that a house is like a mountain is to modify house as Mountain-Like. However, to say that a 'house is a mountain' is to say that the house is mountainlike and that mountains are like this house, but both remain untouched by modifications (until they become similes).

He also points out that, paradoxically, all metaphors are also, at once, similes. This places strain on the theory of modification, but it nevertheless holds, because while saying "the house is a mountain" and the "house is like a mountain" are technically (literally) saying the same thing, the modification is obvious when we say "the house is like a mountain." We are modifying house, we are talking about the house, mountains are only figuratively expressed. But when we say "the house is a mountain" we are talking both of mountains and houses: the two are not only interchangeable, or identical, they ARE the same things, just as when we say that two twins are 'identical', we are, literally speaking, not saying they look alike but that they ARE the same person, that they occupy the same time and space as each other (which is why the phrase "identical twins" holds such scorn from Frye).

At any rate, the metaphor is an interesting beast for this and a variety of reasons. Just a thought.

A Pause in the Content

At my site, we have been devoted to the goal of encouraging, advocating, and participating in storytelling. However, as is the case when I decided not to continue further in university, the time has ultimately come for me to PARTICIPATE in the art of storytelling. I have been doing this to a certain degree with Monster Intern, but only to a certain extent and with limited marketability.

I have decided to take my own personal storytelling to a new level: production. With the constant movement towards a digital age-- which might be slower than anticipated, but is, in my opinion, inevitable-- I have decided to focus on eBook sales and actual storytelling creation. That is, it is time I moved on from 'personal web page' style short stories (in essence, a simple piece of mind that my stories actually exist) to marketing myself as a product.

I am working on creating eBooks for a variety of markets (including iPod, pda, microsoft reader, psp, etc) and on creating books on cd (of the books that will be published). I hope this will actually allow me to concretize my work as a product, to be able to plan exposure (which is limited by the 'personal space' style of the current site dynamic) and to focus on the business of storytelling-- an aspect of the art, since without readers and without a sold audience, there can be no longevity, no art except self-gratification.

The time has come for me to work harder at creating a product for myself, and I think this will be a venture that will be rewarding, difficult, bloody, and eye-opening.

This means a pause in the content of monsterintern.com, however... the webforum will still be moderated by yours truly, but the content will take a backseat so that I can create product-content for my upcoming eStore.

Will I be successful? Who knows. Will I fail? Only if I give up. Will I immediately become satisfied? Doubtful.. but at least I will know that I gave it my all.